Whether it’s through social media or through word of mouth, many of us have heard the phrases “Be yourself!” or “Be unique!”. However, the proper application of these phrases into American culture has yet to be established fully.

Our culture places a high emphasis on individualism, and essentially pushes people to be independent, but, similar to any other society, it has laid out unspoken guidelines that people are expected to follow by other older members of society who have already undergone a specific stage of life. Each life event and experience is often heavily tied to a specific age group, and we are typically expected to have met certain goals and made certain decisions by a specific age.

While people are encouraged to be self-reliant, it seems as though this trait tends to get cut short before they can form their own independent beliefs and carve their own pathway. Many people I have come across in America often live their lives, not based on self-reflection and self-interests, but rather, based on a narrow tunnel of observation. They tend to observe their parents, siblings, peers, and teachers closely and make life choices strictly based on what has worked for these people and what has not.

As someone who has lived in a collectivist country (India) and an individualistic country (USA), I have a frame of reference for how different societies function, and I can say with certainty that American culture is truly not as individualistic as it claims to be. There are a multitude of issues that exist in our present-day society and economy which cause people to remain stagnant in life stages, i.e, not being able to fully support oneself at age 18. Additionally, it is not considered unconventional to remain stuck in these stages anymore, because it’s something that most people go through.

As far as Erikson’s eight stages of development are concerned, I would argue that America is gradually shifting away from these stages. Although the stage’s goals are fairly synonymous with those of our society’s, we see a smaller number of people following through with these goals until the end, thus indicating that they are not as relevant as they once were. 

Whether or not people follow through all of Erikson’s eight stages and get through them successfully is something that can be attributed to their desire to fit in with society, and ultimately follow the bandwagon. However, what’s interesting to note is that the majority of the Gen Z population possesses this need to “stand out” from the rest of their peers. They also feel the need to do the opposite of what most people are doing.

This certainly does not apply to every single member, however, it’s still a quality that I’ve occasionally come across in myself, and in my peers. I believe that it is something that has to do with one’s upbringing and environment. The people from other generations and other members of Gen Z who do not fit into this bracket usually aim to follow the same structure of stages that people have been following for a long time.

Some people genuinely do have life plans that align with what is expected of them, however, the people that do not are left feeling immense pressure. There is often a personal dilemma between following one’s dreams by breaking cultural norms and following societal standards by catering to the expectations of those around them.

When a society constantly puts pressure on its members to complete certain life goals by a certain deadline, there is little to no room for self-exploration. If people innately gravitate towards a specific aspect of life that falls out of line with these eight stages of development, they are often coerced into discarding these dreams and aspirations for the sole purpose of being like everyone else. For instance, there could be a possibility that someone wants to take a break from college to travel abroad and find their passions, however, this may be something that is frowned upon by the rest of society, because it’s something most people don’t do.

It is quite disheartening that many people go years, and sometimes, even a whole lifetime without pursuing their passions and giving them up mainly so that they can assimilate into society. When people are under such circumstances, they are blocked from growing as personal individuals, and are unfortunately forced to settle for being products of a society that is holding them back in so many ways. Doing so often causes them to develop internal disdain and resentment towards the sources that hinder them from pursuing their passions, which, in most cases, is one’s family or culture. 

The eight stages of development can be navigated depending on one’s upbringing and environment. However, realistically, in present day society, it is difficult to navigate every single crisis, because of several external factors. These external factors can manifest in the form of stress, abuse, trauma, grief, etc, which can lead to a maladaptive or malignant tendency. Essentially, these are black and white terms to describe people who are adopting the stages’ lessons into their life in either extremely high or dangerously low levels. Those who adopt a balance between both of these extremes are said to have navigated each of these stages properly.

However, when you compare this concept to the larger idea of life, it is unrealistic to expect every individual to be balanced. The truth is that most of us are not balanced in every aspect or stage of life, and there are bound to be obstacles. External factors playing a role in our development is quite inevitable. Some of these factors include family dynamics, peer pressure, economic hardships, media, etc. For example, family dynamics play a fundamental role during childhood and adolescence, with a supportive family fostering a sense of trust, which is Erikson's first stage.

On the other hand, dysfunctional family dynamics, marked by neglect or abuse, can impede the development of trust and result in lasting psychological issues. Additionally, peer pressure is highly significant during adolescence, and influences identity formation (Erikson's fifth stage) as people may feel compelled to conform to certain behaviors or social norms. Economic issues, such as poverty or job insecurity, can impact one's autonomy and sense of industry, limiting opportunities for exploration and personal growth. Lastly, the media shapes one’s perception of themselves and their relationships. 

Such factors have the potential to lead to unresolved crises. Kaiser (2020)’s study denotes that poverty, family breakdown, neglect, abuse, or abandonment are common factors leading children to run away or be forced to leave their homes, often resulting in their exposure to street violence. The findings illustrate how the experiences of street children, in contrast to those in conventional settings, can shape their life stages within the framework of Erik Erikson's psychosocial development theory, emphasizing the unique challenges faced by these vulnerable children. Thus, this is a classic example of how undergoing traumatic experiences can hinder one’s progression from one stage to the next.

This example resonates most with the “Identity vs Role confusion” stage, which occurs during adolescence. Sun & Sun (2021) highlight the limitations in Erikson's overemphasis on the order of development stages and suggest that educators, such as parents and teachers, should consider individual differences in development when applying Erikson's theory to address practical educational challenges. Both of these studies’ research-based findings ultimately suggest that the concept of Erikson’s stages is quite idealized, but that it sheds light on real-life challenges. 

Ultimately, it is important to acknowledge that not everyone will be able to successfully navigate these stages in a balanced way. Our lives are influenced by external factors, thus chasing after this perfect balance might be unrealistic. However, fostering a sense of self-awareness and inner strength is what can gradually improve the quality of our lives. 

References

Kaiser, E. (2020). Violence on street children. Journal of Health and Social Sciences, 5(1), 45–52. https://doi.org/10.19204/2020/vlnc10

Sun, X., & Sun, T. (2021). Research on lifelong education based on Erikson’s Psychosocial Development theory. Advances in Social Science, Education and Humanities Research, 582. https://doi.org/10.2991/assehr.k.211011.047